The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life
by givingupthegun
Summary: She drifted away from her so-called-friends and lost Finn to Quinn and it was all her daddies fault...


**AN: I'm back to Glee now! So I heard the song If I Die Young by The Band Perry, which isn't in a genre I'd usually listen to but it inspired me to write this so I guess it's an all right song. ;D It's kind of depressing so some people might not want to read it. Anyways, hope you like it!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters (Ryan Murphy) or the song (The Band Perry).**

Rachel smiled tiredly at the rest of the glee club, running a hand through her glossy straight hair. She may have looked just as she always had, but there was one giveaway. Her eyes. They used to sparkle with happiness and with her complete faith in herself, and now they were just dead. She didn't care anymore-why should she? There was nothing in this town-or in this earth-to keep her there. Opening her mouth to sing, the smile dropped from her face and she shut her eyes.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses_

_Sink me in the river at dawn_

_Send me away with the words of a love song_

A couple months ago she was happy. She had Finn and she had her daddies and she had friends. Then she drifted away from her friends and lost Finn to Quinn and her daddies were all to blame.

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother_

_She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors_

_Life ain't always what you think it should be, no_

_Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby_

Rachel's dads were upset with her one day, over nothing really. She had went to Mercedes house instead of going home right after school, and they hadn't liked that one bit. That's when it first started. Her dad, Leroy, hit her across the face for disobeying him. He told her she was worthless. That she'd never make it to Broadway. And then he sent her up to her room with one more slap to the face and Hiram brought up a glass of water to her room, making excuses like "he has anger issues, but you know he loves you".

_The sharp knife of a short life, well_

_I've had enough, just enough time_

But sometimes her daddy wasn't there to protect her from her dad and that's when it got worse. Hiram was called away on a business trip that surprisingly, Leroy wasn't invited to. Even more surprising-Leroy didn't hit her. It was like that night hadn't happened at all and that almost scared Rachel more. She began to test her luck by again going to Mercedes instead of going home and inviting Finn to her house more often. Then her dad flipped again, but this time it wasn't physical. It was just words. It was 'you're worthless', 'no wonder your friends don't like you', 'get over yourself'. That normally wouldn't hurt her nearly as much as it did if it weren't for the insults thrown at her at school too. Santana and Quinn were much more vicious-almost as if they, similar to wolves, could sense she was weak.

_And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom_

_I'm as green as the ring on my cold little finger_

_I've never known the loving of a man_

_But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand_

Then Finn broke up with her. Rachel hadn't known Quinn was going after her boyfriend behind her back or else she might have been able to prevent it. Unfortunately, even her friends hadn't thought to tell her, so maybe they weren't her friends at all and her dad was right? Even Finn was on her dads side-apparently he couldn't be with someone 'so insecure and self-centered all the time'. Rachel found this almost comical… Quinn _wasn't _self-centered? But again, this was all her daddies fault. If her daddy hadn't left for his business trip, her dad wouldn't have insulted her so many times, which wouldn't have made her so sensitive to her classmates insults, and she wouldn't have been so insecure.

_Who thought forever could be severed by_

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_Well I've had just enough time_

_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my best pearls_

_What I never did is done_

Even more bad things happened to Rachel after that, as hard as it is to imagine. Her daddy's trip went over schedule and he would be gone a whole extra week. This gave her dad even more time to attack her with the insults, and he sure didn't hold back. The same things were repeated over so many times that they were almost like a mantra for Rachel. Useless, talentless, annoying, insecure, bratty… It played in her head all the time as a constant reminder that no one liked her and that she _did not deserve to be happy. _At all.

_A penny for my thoughts? _

_Oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar_

_They're worth so much more now that I'm a goner_

_And maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singing_

_Funny how you're dead when people start listening_

That is when Rachel realized that people needed to know how she felt. She needed help and was too proud to ask for it herself! So what better way to reveal her feelings than to do it in song? It was dramatic and cinematic, and quite frankly, there was no other way Rachel would even consider. So for every assignment in glee, she found some angsty song to sing and prayed that they would understand. That's when she really figured out that no one cared how she felt. They all shrugged off her sad songs and teary eyes and labeled it 'no more than her usual Berry crap'. They could live with the guilt once she was dead, Rachel figured.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses_

_Sink me in the river at dawn_

_Send me away with the words of a love song_

All Rachel wanted was to be loved. To have her own happy ever after ending. To meet her knight in shining armor, and have him whisk her away from her terrible life and bring her to his beautiful castle. She drifted off in her classes and barely scraped by in all of them, preferring to dream of running away from Lima and her life and going to New York to live out her dream. That's what kept her so sane for so long, she realized at the end. Her dream was truly her one true love.

_Uh oh_

_The ballad of the dove_

_Go with peace and love_

_Gather up your tears and keep them in your pocket_

_Save them for a time when you're really gunna need them_

In true diva fashion, Rachel saved up all her tears and saved them for another time when they'd really be useful. What's the point in crying when no one is there to see them and comfort you? You're just making yourself even more upset, realizing no one is there to wipe them up. Rachel was the definition of lonely-no one to wipe up her tears, no one to make her laugh, no one to love her…

_The sharp knife of a short life_

_Well I've had just enough time_

Rachel bit out a laugh in-between that line and the last verse. She'd had more than enough time. She didn't want any more time! Broadway wasn't enough to make her stick around now. Going to Broadway and having no one to share the experiences with, having no one to dedicate her Tony speech to-that's not something Rachel would even consider. Having no one to love makes life unbearable, as Rachel found out. And it tore her apart.

_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my best pearls_

Her voice slowly trailed off into the silence. Maybe this was the song that finally broke through to them? "Rachel…" she heard Mr. Schue's voice calling out to her but it was like it was coming to her through a tunnel. Her knees collapsed beneath her and suddenly she was on the ground. "_Please let this be the end,_" she prayed, her eyes sliding shut and the darkness enveloped her. Imagine her luck if she fainted to her death?

But suddenly she was awake, lying in a fairly comfortable bed with scratchy sheets pulled up to her shin. "You're awake!" Puck exclaimed in relief, grabbing her hand. "How are you feeling?" Rachel squinted at him, trying to figure out if he was also sick. The Noah she knew would never give a rats ass whether or not she was all right.

"I'm fine, Noah," Rachel said, still looking him up and down. She watched him laugh, trying to see if there were any signs of sickness or is his mental health was at stake. He grinned at her, "I know I'm hot, Rach, but don't check me out so blatantly!"

They both grinned at each other before Rachel lowered her eyes, biting her lip hard to stop the tears. Suddenly she felt an arm around her shoulders and she was pulled onto Puck's lap, and she relaxed into his embrace and leaned her head onto his chest. "God Rachel," he whispered into her hair, "you scared me so bad." Bringing her eyes up to meet his, Rachel opened her mouth in shock.

"Y-you cared?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck tentatively. Puck nodded, looking into her eyes and wiping her tears away. She gasped, unable to believe what had just happened. The most unlikely boy had just wiped her tears away and admitted he cared about her. Rachel buried her head into his chest and full-out sobbed as Puck wrapped his arms around her frail body. "If you had died young, I don't think I could have lived without you."


End file.
